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60 Best Valentine's Day Jokes for All of Your Funny Valentines

Share these hilarious puns and funny one-liners with the people you love most.

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When it comes to expressing your feelings for your loved ones come Valentine's Day, not everyone has a knack for finding the romance or the perfect words that describe all that someone means to them — but that doesn't mean they can't still show someone they care. For those who find the love through laughing and silly sentiments, sometimes, a few funny words, one-liners and puns can encompass your feelings better than any sonnet or poem might. When you're looking for an adorable addition for the inside of your Valentine's Day card, or simply want to send something sweet to someone to show that you're thinking about them, you can't go wrong with any of these hilariously heartfelt Valentine's Day jokes.

Print your favorites off and add them to your kid's lunch boxes for a mealtime surprise, or frame your favorite and gift to your spouse so they can put it on their desk for a punny and personal piece of decor. You can even just read through the list as a family and laugh at some of the truly cheesy kid-friendly jokes. And of course, when all else fails, any of these can be used as Valentine's Day Instagram captions for all of the photos of your funny valentine.

Want more fun this V-Day? Check out these funny Valentine's Day quotes.

1

How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?

how do vampires know if they had a successful valentine's day if it's love at first bite
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2

What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?

what do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium guppy love
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3

What did the painter tell his girlfriend?

what did the painter tell his girlfriend i love you with all my art
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“I love you with all my art.”

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4

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

what did the paper clip say to the magnet i find you very attractive
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"I find you very attractive."

5

What's Cupid's favorite band?

what's cupid's favorite band kiss
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Kiss!

6

What did the scientist say to her Valentine?

what did the scientist say to her valentine i think of you periodically
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“I think of you periodically.”

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7

What did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut?

what did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut i keep bleeding i keep keep bleeding love
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“I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love.”

8

What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?

what did one cat say to the other cat on valentine's day you're purrfect
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"You're purr-fect."

9

What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

what did one watermelon say to the other on valentine’s day you're one in a melon
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"You're one in a melon!"

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10

​​Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

​​do you have a date for valentine's day yes, it's february 14
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Yes, it's February 14.

11

Who always has a date on Valentine's Day?

who always has a date on valentine's day a calendar
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A calendar.

12

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend he gave her a ring
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He gave her a ring!

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13

What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?

what do you call sweets that can keep a beat candy rappers
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Candy rappers.

14

What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?

valentines day jokes

"I have a crutch on you."

15

Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend?

valentines day jokes

He was a real keeper.

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16

What did one oar tell the other oar?

valentines day jokes

"This is so row-mantic!"

17

What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day?

valentines day jokes

"I turt-ally love you."

18

What do you tell a pig on February 14?

valentines day jokes

"Happy Valen-swine's Day!"

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19

What do you call a colorful heart that loves books?

valentines day jokes

Well-red.

20

Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine's Day?

why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before valentine's day her heart wasn't in it
Danielle Carson
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